The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
