I bet he comes in French.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
