After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
