when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
