none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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