So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
