i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
