There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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