Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
