I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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