thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
