just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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