Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
