my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Randomize
