He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
