are you so shy because you have an std?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
