we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i dont even know how to be here
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
