I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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