Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
