sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
