it wasn't lemon gatorade
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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