i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
NoShamevember. You game?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
