To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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