so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
