i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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