I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
