Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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