Nicole vs. Life
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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