you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
