just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
