just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
