So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
