Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
