if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
