Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
