Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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