I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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