well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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