apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
