I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
