she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
