not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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