You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Randomize
