My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We talked him into tasing himself.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
