I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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