My liver just broke up with me...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
3 2 1 whiskey
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
