whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize