I'm jealous of your bromance
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
