whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
