i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
