i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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